Nice Day for a Blood Wedding
by Lumosify
Summary: A Blood Wedding goes wrong and suddenly two school rivals are working together. Perhaps without a guy in the middle, maybe they can learn to get along. Or not. Or, you know, maybe they can come to an understanding. ONESHOT! (Why yes, the title is a reference to White Wedding by Billy Idol.)


**Written for Round 9 of the QLFC. Tornado power!**

 **(Prompts detailed at the bottom.)**

* * *

She was too late.

"She's already locked up," the absent-minded man before her flicked through his papers before looking up. "The issue will be brought to court, where the punishment dictated by the Blood Wedding will be put through."

"But – that means death! You can't – she hardly did anything, and there's not even proof of her unfaithfulness!"

"As far as I'm concerned," the man pushed his square glasses up his nose and squinted at her. "It's her own fault for demanding a Blood Wedding in the first place. This all could have been avoided if she hadn't been so intent on signing that magical contract."

Hermione ground her teeth. "Can I see her?"

"Your wand will be confiscated, but yes. She's in the holding cells."

* * *

 _"We have a Blood Wedding scheduled for today," the speaker at the podium announced. "A member of the DMLE has been dispatched to oversee this nearly outdated procedure, along with five Aurors."_

 _"Blood Weddings are still allowed?" a bewildered woman in the front row asked. Her blond hair was tied back in a ponytail and her brown eyes were bright. She certainly seemed new to the department._

 _"It is…not preferred," the speaker was a man, with round glasses and a few sparse hairs on his head. His tone had been monotonous until that moment. He wrinkled his nose and continued, "The Ministry has ruled that it cannot stop the magical community if its members desire a Blood Wedding instead of a normal magical wedding. However, the participants must have a Ministry official oversee the event, and must review the laws surrounding Blood Weddings sometime prior to the event."_

 _"The laws of a Blood Wedding haven't been reviewed in centuries," someone called out. "How can they allow a Blood Wedding without adjusting the laws to a more modernized standard?"_

 _"The Ministry has better things to do with their time than review old laws that hardly anyone uses," the speaker snapped, "those who wish to continue with outdated procedures have every right to endanger their lives, so long as the Ministry gives them a clear option to back out before the process has begun."_

 _The blond-haired woman in the front row shrugged. "Well, it's their decision I suppose," she muttered._

 _"Still, perhaps we should bring attention to the laws. Even if the participants agreed to it, it's still a step backwards for a new, modern Wizarding community," Hermione spoke up._

 _"The participants are of age and know full well what they are getting into." The speaker growled. "Now can I continue, or are we going to debate this forever?"_

* * *

Her wand taken from her, Hermione wandered the corridors of the holding cells.

It was a short walk. She didn't even need to look for the right cell. Instead, she followed the loud wailing.

Sure enough, she came across the sobbing bride. It was clear they had thrown her in the cell straight from the wedding. She was still wearing her dress. It was decorated in delicate white feathers, and made her look very similar to a large, plump bird. If birds could cry, Hermione was sure it would look something like this.

"Come to laugh at me?" A shrill, hysterical voice prompted. Lavender looked up at her with red eyes.

"No," Hermione said steadily. "I'm here to help."

"You don't have to do anything," Lavender sniffed. "I go to my trial, and then I'm released."

"That – that's not how Blood Weddings work! Did you even _read_ the contract you signed?"

"I skimmed over it, but that's not important. I don't need your help."

"Unfaithfulness has consequences in a Blood Wedding, Lavender!" Hermione snapped. "They're going to kill you. They have no choice, because you _signed a magical contract and bound your magic to it_. Are you an _idiot_?"

Despite her words, Hermione couldn't imagine Lavender cheating. There were many treacherous things Hermione could imagine Lavender partaking in; however, deceit was not one of them. She remembered the days she'd spent during sixth year, consumed by jealousy; attempting to envision Lavender cheating on Ron, and hating herself for not being able to indulge in even that small amount of smugness and satisfaction.

The idea of Lavender cheating was an inconceivable one. She was a give-all sort of person; she fed generous amounts of love and trust into every lasting relationship, and when that love and trust weren't returned it might as well be ripping away a part of Lavender herself. If Hermione learned anything from that miserable part of her sixth year, it was that.

Lavender shrank back. "What?" she whispered hoarsely. "No. I didn't even cheat on him! I don't know where he got it from, but I really didn't! I don't deserve this!" She burst into a fresh set of tears.

"Well crying isn't going to solve your problems," Hermione snapped. "And believe me, you've got more than one if you even _thought_ a Blood Wedding was a good idea."

Lavender stopped crying at once.

"I don't want to die," she whispered, and Hermione could see the tears still in her eyes.

"I'm going to help you. There's got to be some sort of loophole or special circumstance, or," Hermione lowered her voice. "I'll break you out of here."

"Yes, and then I'll be a fugitive," Lavender choked back a sob. "I don't want to hide for the rest of my life either."

"What was Seamus thinking?" Hermione muttered furiously. "What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know," Lavender said miserably. "We were so happy one moment and then he accused me of cheating and then sent me to my death and…how could he do that?!"

"There has to be a reason for this…"

"I suppose it's all fun and games for him, isn't it? 'Never tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like an idiot', is that what it is to him?" The look on Lavender's face was one of desperation; a hysterical, maniacal kind of desperation that Hermione was all too familiar with.

"How could he humiliate me and then just LEAVE me there?"

"I don't think comforting you was his priority, Lavender," Hermione tried to reason, her mind shooting to a new conclusion.

"I WAS GOING TO BE HIS WIFE!" Lavender shouted, suddenly furious. "If comforting his future wife wasn't his priority, then what was? Tell me, Hermione, what could possibly be more important?"

"Sentiment is a chemical defect found on the losing side," Hermione muttered to herself frantically. "What could he have to lose?"

"That's what I'm asking!"

"Think, Lavender," Hermione prompted, hoping to spur her own thoughts. "What is more important than someone else's feelings?"

"My own feelings?" Lavender tilted her head to the side, reining in her emotions. "Their well-being? MY well-being? Financial stabilit - "

"His well-being! What could compromise his well-being?"

This interrogation method was a technique she had learned when she'd been dating Ron. She used to trail off and come to conclusions in her head, and it often left everyone else (including Ron) in the dark. Now she could prompt others and still jump ahead in her own mind.

"His well-being?" Lavender blinked. "Well, the contract we signed this morning said that if either one of us had been unfaithful, the procedures of the Blood Wedding would cause instantaneous death to the person who had been unfaithful. And if not that, then...well, you can see where I am right now."

Hermione was reluctant to say it, but she forced it out anyway. "He must have cheated on you."

Lavender took a shuddering breath.

Hermione waited for the explosion, but none came. Finally, she prompted, "Is that it? You're just going to accept it?"

"It's not that far-fetched, really," Lavender answered with a cold voice. "Or did you forget who got me here?"

Hermione sighed in relief. "Good. That's a start. We can work from there, but first…I'm going to read those Blood Wedding laws and the contract myself."

"That'll take too long; the trial is a week away!" Lavender wailed.

"Shut it," Hermione snapped. Lavender shut up, most likely because Hermione was her only way out.

"If we're going to get you out of here, it'll be the legal way before the illegal ones." Hermione turned to leave.

She paused before she exited the corridor. A moment later, she called out, "I think you'll find that I can read faster than you might think."

* * *

 _"Hermione!" Neville yelled. She stopped, hugging her paperwork to her chest._

 _"It's Lavender," he panted, bending over in exhaustion. "They've locked her up!"_

 _"Er…"_

 _"The Blood Wedding! Seamus and Lavender's Blood Wedding! He accused her of cheating, and now she's going to die because she signed a magical contract and_ I'm so sure she never cheated on him _, you have to help me – "_

 _"She's going to die because she signed a magical contract?" Hermione slapped a palm to her forehead. "Why would she do that?!"_

 _"She's Lavender," Neville said, then caught a couple papers that slipped out of her one-handed grasp. She snatched them back from him._

 _"I'll go see her," Hermione promised. "I'll do my best to get her out if she's been falsely accused."_

 _"Thank you." Neville sagged in relief. "Thank you so much. I thought no one would believe me…"_

 _"I trust you, Neville," Hermione reasoned. "And besides, I really can't see her cheating either."_

* * *

Lavender perked up as Hermione skidded around the corner.

"Is that what I think it is?" Lavender piped up. Her eyes were round with awe.

"If you're thinking it's my lunch, then yes." Hermione heaved herself to the floor with a muffled _thump_. Lavender visibly deflated.

"Well, it's nice of you to spend lunch break with me, I suppose," she muttered.

"Oh, alright, I'll share," Hermione rolled her eyes. "Take whatever you'd like."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Lavender picked up half of Hermione's sandwich. "You wouldn't _believe_ the stuff they call meals here, all disgusting and slimy-looking."

Hermione smiled. "Well, you'll be out of here soon, I hope."

"I hope so too," Lavender said solemnly. "Have you found something?"

"Actually, yes," Hermione pulled out some folded papers from the pockets of her robes. "That's why I decided to spend lunch here. I have about twenty minutes now, give or take."

Lavender put a hand through the bars and picked up one of the papers. She raised a delicate eyebrow. "You found a loophole?"

"I'm still working on it, but if we get Seamus to confess that he cheated on you…"

Lavender's eyes widened as she read through the paper, and then picked up the next few. "You've really thought this through."

"You would too if you grew up with two idiots who can't tell the difference between forwards and backwards," Hermione muttered.

"They're not so bad. Give them some credit for managing to get through school, at least." Lavender smiled.

"They skipped their final year, so they don't even have that going for them," Hermione retorted.

"They were the only ones. Everyone else needed NEWTs to get anywhere in life." Lavender wrinkled her nose. "Is that favoritism?"

"I feel like it is, but don't tell them I said that."

Lavender giggled, and then cleared her throat. "Er…the case…"

"Right," Hermione blinked and peered over her papers. "The major problem with the plan is that for it to I work, we have to get Seamus to confess to cheating on you. And if he hasn't, well that's another host of problems. Our best bet is to get him to admit it in private, but record the confession somehow. If it's a public accusation, the Blood Wedding laws could cause problems if it turns out he hasn't cheated at all."

"Brilliant." Lavender breathed out through her nose. "I can't really do anything, so are you going to…?"

"It's our best bet," Hermione said at once. "I'll try to get it out of him."

"Thanks," Lavender beamed. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

"Well, you know I was a fugitive for months before the Battle of Hogwarts, so I might know more than you think."

* * *

 _Lavender walked down the aisle, arm-in-arm with her father, head held high._

 _Forgetting about waiting at the altar, Seamus rushed towards her. She wasn't confused for long._

 _"You cheated on me! How could you?" he declared. She stared at him, uncomprehending._

 _"Lavender?" her father asked, a frown on his face._

 _"I THOUGHT YOU WANTED THIS!" Seamus roared. Then he took a step back, turned tail, and ran._

 _She didn't respond. Instead she swayed on the spot. Her vision darkened, and she fell unconscious._

* * *

Hermione knocked on the door to Seamus and Lavender's flat, Neville at her side.

The door opened a crack. Seamus poked his head out.

"What do you want?" he asked, glaring at them.

"May we come in?" Hermione asked, pushing in anyway. Neville followed, aiming a dark look at Seamus.

"I'd prefer if you left, actually," Seamus snapped.

"We'll get straight to the point then," Hermione took her wand out and flicked it downwards, muttering an incantation that made the tip glow blue. It was a spell that recorded conversations. Seamus stared at it warily.

"Did you or did you not cheat on Lavender?" Neville asked, a threatening edge to his voice.

"If I remember correctly, _she_ cheated on _me_ ," Seamus gave him a nasty look.

"Look here, Finnigan," Neville snapped, taking a step closer. "If you confess no one has to die."

"You're going to kill me?" Seamus stumbled backwards, eyes wide. "You'll be in trouble!"

"You don't know?" Neville blinked. He stepped back. "He doesn't know."

"Lavender's going to be killed, because unfaithfulness is punishable by death when Blood Weddings are involved."

"You – I – what?"

"He didn't read it either," Hermione said sourly. "You two signed a magical contract, and _didn't bother to read it the whole way through_?"

"Lavender wanted it so badly, I thought they were harmless," Seamus said, looking sick. "And then I skimmed through the contract and read that the procedures will kill me if I've been unfaithful…"

"So you framed Lavender," Hermione finished for him. "And now she's going to die."

"I didn't know she'd be killed for it…" Seamus trailed off.

"This can all be solved if you admit you cheated on her," Neville cut in. "You'll be put on trial, and Lavender decides your punishment. Neither of you will be killed."

"She probably wants to kill me now, after I cheated on her and then supposedly left her to die."

"We'll talk her out of it," Hermione reasoned. "Besides, I think she's learned a thing or two about harsh punishments."

* * *

 **Team: ** Tutshill Tornadoes

 **Position:** Beater 1

 **Round Prompt: ** Much Ado About Nothing (Shakespeare's play, that is - particularly the part where the bride is accused by the groom of being unfaithful; then the groom storms off and the bride faints.)

 **Word Count:** 2,559 words (excluding Author's Notes)

 **Prompts Used:**

 **Prompt 1:** (quote) 'Never tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like an idiot' - AVPM

 **Prompt 2:** (word) deceit

 **Prompt 4:** (emotion) jealousy

 **Prompt 8:** (opening sentence) (S)He was too late.

 **Prompt 9:** (quote) 'Sentiment is a chemical defect found on the losing side' - BBC Sherlock


End file.
